October

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Show your support by wearing a purple ribbon, purple piece of jewelry or purple article of clothing.

One Day at a Time

"Every day may not be good, but there is something good in every day." - Source Unknown

Say it Is So

"You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem and smarter than you think." - A.A. Milne

Take Time to Renew You

"Self-care is not about self-indulgence, it's about self-preservation." - Audre Lorde

Life's Lesson for Me Today

"A teacher effects eternity. He can never tell where his influence stops." 

This is not just true of teachers, but any of us. Each of us, in our own little way, effects eternity. The impact we have on other's lives are like ripples in a body of water that expand far beyond their source.   What ripples are you causing?

In His Presence

I probably admire each of my friends, but I have a handful of friends in particular who I really esteem. One in particular is a survivor of many hardships who thrives. I revere her outlook on life.  Whenever given a choice about how to feel, she chooses happiness. Her perception of things is usually optimistic.  In the presence of colleagues and peers, she shines. I often think of her as a hardy flower: beautiful, yet strong and enduring. She is by no means perfect, but fragility is not one of her flaws.  The first time I saw her interact with her husband, I was dumbfounded that she seemed to wilt in his presence. I never mentioned this to her, of course. As our friendship progressed, she eventually confided in me about his poor treatment of her.  Although she was the last woman I would ever imagine being a victim of abuse, she actually was. There is no single type of victim when it comes to domestic violence.

From Pitiful to Empowered

Last night I was in one of those moods trauma survivors tend to get into. A woe-is-me, self-pity fest. I felt unlovable, unloved and worthlessly low. Since the end of my abusive marriage I have not found the nourishing, restorative love in a mate my heart has longed for. I started playing the self doubt script my ex often fed me: "who will want you?" "you are not worthy" and more negative thoughts. Who would want me? What good was I? I began to relent. At that point I just so happened to walk into the living room and a program of the Oprah Winfrey show called "Where Are They Now?" was airing. Oprah was featuring a female guest whose name I missed. The woman was attractive, appeared to be in her early to mid-40's and looked like the picture of health. Something about her demeanor as Oprah questioned her, made me stop and watch. She was poised, confident and looked like a woman of stature.  I was shocked to learn that she was living with HIV which she unknowingly contracted from her bisexual husband. The woman said, for a period she thought her life was in permanent shambles. She summoned all the support and strength she could muster though and filed for divorce and a lawsuit against her maniacal partner. The lawsuit was still pending, and as yet she had received no financial settlement. She did however, receive something much greater than she could have ever expected in the form of divine justice. At her darkest point, the woman, who'd always dreamed of bearing children and raising a family did not deprive herself of believing in the impossible. She kept her heart and mind open to the best possible outcome in her life. Well, she found a partner who loved her in spite of her illness even after she was honest with him about her status and her desires. They consulted medical experts and asked about making conception possible for them both. She and her new love were able to conceive a baby who was fortunately born HIV-negative and is not only healthy but the spitting-image of her mother. In what could have been her most horrific pitfall, this woman found not only hope but a purpose. She now has a foundation to help women living with HIV and AIDS. After watching that program, my initially mountain-like seeming obstacles no longer loomed but shrank as small as a molehill. If this woman could find herself deserving and hopeful of love in the most unlikely of circumstances, surely I could. No miracle change happened overnight, I was not suddenly afloat with optimism, but I was given a glimmer of hope that I pass on to you. No matter how bad things seem, remember, the night is always darkest just before dawn. You could be on the verge of a breakthrough if you do not break down.
©Joy Lyn 2014