Love

Just over a decade ago, I took my mother on her first cruise. In fact, it was her first trip outside of the country of her birth. The cruise was supposed to be the makeup honeymoon trip for me and my then husband. (Our initial honeymoon was abruptly interrupted and we had to return home before the expected time). Instead, he flew halfway across the country to have a jaunt with his mistress. I could not cancel the cruise trip due to time constraints and my mother offered to come along with me instead of having me travel alone or not go at all. I appreciated my mother's thoughtfulness, she was not in the best of health, yet as always, she was being self-sacrificing in behalf of one of her children. Because of my failing marriage I felt devoid of energy mentally and emotionally. Physically, all I wanted to do was sleep. I had no appetite, no energy, no clarity. My peace was disturbed. Going on the cruise with my Mom was a healing time for me and her. She too was in a turmoil-filled marriage, -her second one- and getting far away from our respectively troubled households to a paradisaic setting was soothing to both our anxious hearts. Around 3 am one morning (I looked at the lampstand clock), she called me on the deck to sit with her. The night sky was pure darkness except for a huge, perfectly round, larger-than-life glowing moon that appeared to be facing us and sitting on the surface of the water. It softly illuminated the surrounding darkness. The gently flowing surface current that rocked the boat to and fro, belied the power of the vast, infinite ocean. Before Mommy woke me, I was enjoying the best sleep I'd had in months and was a little irritated that she wanted me to join her on deck at this time. At first I tried to pretend not to hear her, but her voice was insistent, urgent almost. I grumbled my way to the balcony and plopped down beside her on the adjoining beach chair . Although it was warm in the Caribbean the night air was cool enough to merit covers and we were both ensconced in the ones from our beds. My mother spoke to me that night about the power of the Creator and his creation: specifically the ocean and moon that were before us. She reminded me that He is love and can do anything. She the mentioned my new puppy. At the time I had only had him for four months.  He was a rescue and shortly after bringing him home I discovered he had an awful case of kennel cough. The timing was fortunate. I was home on vacation for the next three weeks and was able to lavish him with love, nurture and care. At the close of those weeks he was healthy and thriving. What my  mother said remains with me today. Love is a powerful thing. Love can heal. The most powerful Source of goodness -God himself- is Love. "Look what your love did for that dog," she said. "Your love brought him back to life!" I did not realize it until she said it. Yet her words are so true. Make sure you go where the love is. Love is the most powerful force and it can do amazing things. - Joy Lyn  ©2016

What I Need to Hear Sometimes: Love with an Awareness

It is okay to love after you have survived domestic violence. It is okay to let yourself be loved after surviving domestic violence. By all means do love and let yourself be loved. Yes it can be a terrifying thing to love again, but don’t let your past experiences hinder your future. Instead let your past experiences inform your future. You now know that love can fail. Terribly. You now know that love shouldn’t hurt. Mostly. You now know what love is not. Despite all that Love anyway. Just love differently. Love and be loved constructively, not destructively.  Love with an awareness now. Love with an awareness that loving is a risk. Love with an awareness that being loved is a risk. Love anyway. Love with a hope that this love will work. Love with the belief that love can and does work. Love. Love. Love. Don’t be afraid of love. Don't be afraid to love. Don’t hold the wrongs of your abuser against the new person in your life who is trying to love you. Love is to be embraced and felt fully. Immerse yourself in it. Love. Love. Love. Joy Lyn ©2015

Fragile Survivors

People equate survival with strength, but more often than not, especially after just getting out of an abusive relationship, we are fragile survivors.  We may be resilient, but we don't necessarily feel that way. Many of us barely made it through a hell that we probably kept hidden from the friends and family closest to us. When we build up enough courage to leave an abuser, we don't need judgment or disapproval or criticism or comparison to other couples. We need support, we need uplifting, we need care, we need love. © Joy Lyn 2015.

Make sure you don't start seeing yourself through the eyes of those who don't value you.  Know your worth even if they don't. - Thelma Davis

You cannot heal what you refuse to first acknowledge. - Bryant McGill

Emergence

"The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss and have found their way out of the depths.  These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern.  Beautiful people do not just happen." - Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

Be Not Defeated

Your struggle is your strength.  If you can resist becoming negative, bitter or hopeless, in time, your struggles will give you everything. - Bryant McGill